and i sense that with jonathan. >> yeah. no, and i -- just as you were talking, i was remembering this point when i went to see him, and there was a long -- what i would do, so he's 15, i'm quite a bit older, you knowsome. >> not much. >> i go out to this dormitory, and i don't know what experience you've had talking to teenagers, but you don't sit across like i'm facing you. you sit sideways, like alex and i. and probably i would be postally looking at the ceiling, asking him questions because that's the way i would get the most interesting information. and that was the day he told metahe had kill -- he told me that he had killed people and that he had killed people for hire. and i had a choice, you know, of either responding the way i was feeling -- which is to be freaked out and to be judgmental -- or could i swallow that long enough to find out the full story. and i think there were, you know, in my relationship with him over time there have been all kinds of ethical questions that have come up that i don't have bright l